There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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