You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
