My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
