this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
