i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
