This girl is more easily done than said...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
