He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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