Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
