You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Randomize
