so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
