member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
