I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
