I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
