ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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