I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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