I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
