oh god the rape fog is back!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
