Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
