But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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