Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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