I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think i got beer on your cat.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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