I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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