I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
