I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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