It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
