why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
