grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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