i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And the cops told us we were all naked.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
