I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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