Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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