Plan B is the new Plan A
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
