I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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