dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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