i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
