Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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