just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
