You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
