the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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