you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
