Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
