break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Two words: blizzard sex
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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