listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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