Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
