dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
