the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
