Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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