You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
