She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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