okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
