I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
