Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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