in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
